The Dallas-Fort Worth Susan G. Komen 3 Day has been on my calendar for this weekend for over a year now. It’s my 3peat year, which means I’ll walk 60 miles over 3 days with my teammates as part of the fight to end breast cancer forever for the third year in a row
That was the plan, at least.
Remember how I mentioned that my training experience this year has been very different than in years past? It turns out that difference is an early-stage metatarsal stress fracture in my left foot. So, instead of finishing the training season strong and participating in this crazy pink event that I love, I’m wearing a boot and trying to stay off my feet as much as possible for the next 6 to 8 weeks (not to mention the ~2 months I’ve spent trying to figure out what was going on and continuing to train and function as normally as possible through the pain). Not exactly the boot season I had in mind.
The DFW3Day starts tomorrow, and I’m heartbroken to not be a part of it. I plan to get out there and cheer on my team as I can, but I’m sad to be missing out this year – to not walk, to not support the cause, to not honor my mom’s fight. I’m also scared that I won’t be able to participate next year. What if I don’t heal right? What if I injure myself again?
Honestly, I’m feeling low – in a funk, if you will. The pain has really been wearing on me for the past few months as it’s gotten worse. I had no idea how emotionally and physically draining ongoing pain is! They say that energy creates energy, and – after all of this – I really do believe it. Although I don’t consider myself athletic, I do stay pretty active, and cutting out my training walks and OrangeTheory workouts has really been an adjustment. The lack of movement and activity has hit me hard. I’m tired. All the time.
Because I’m in pain, I haven’t wanted to be on my feet much, and that has been a tough adjustment for my typical go-go-go self. As one who never wants to waste a weekend, I have a hard time sitting on the couch and doing nothing on Saturdays and Sundays, which I have been forced to do. The boot is helping me protect my foot from everyday wear and tear, but it creates other challenges when it comes to getting around. Going down the stairs from my third-floor apartment to my car every morning must be comical to watch. Improv practice and shows are a challenge. So many things that are normal parts of my life are hard right now, and that’s making me not want to do them.
So I’ve been sitting on the couch, not eating well, and – honestly – feeling a little sorry for myself. And – sometimes – that means I take it out on the people I love. Not my proudest moments, but it’s real life.
In general, I feel like I do a pretty good job of pulling myself out of my pity parties to remind myself that I’m awesome and my life is full. But, right now, it’s hard, and this season of life has been challenging for me.
I have a lot to look forward to before I say goodbye to 2017: a trip to North Carolina to meet Taylor’s extended family at his cousin’s Bar Mitzvah, a reunion with friends for a wedding in Kansas City, Thanksgiving, a weekend getaway to Atlanta with Taylor, improv shows, family birthdays, New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas with my family. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m pretty lucky. Sure, my footwear choices for these events might be a little different than they’d normally be (orthopedic boots are in this year, aren’t they?), but I’m still going, and I’m still going to have fun.
Part of getting better means faking the funk. Fake it til you make it, ya know? I need to get myself back on track, and I have a few ideas to get started.
- Do yoga: there’s plenty of postures I can do on my yoga mat, in my apartment, with instruction from free videos on YouTube that don’t involve putting much pressure on my foot. I just need something to get my blood flowing and some energy moving through my body, and yoga seems like a good option.
- Eat better: I’m a big believer in the 80-20 rule, and I know what works for me. There’s no reason I can’t be good 80% of the time, especially since I’m not getting the exercise I’m used to getting.
- Make the most of my time at home/find activities that work for me: Instead of watching TV or napping on the couch while Taylor watches hockey, I can read, write, work on my blog, fold laundry, call my grandparents and friends I haven’t talked to recently, do my holiday shopping, etc.. I can meet a friend for coffee at a park somewhere and sit and talk and enjoy the weather (inexpensive and fun!). There are so many options; I just need to do a little more than nothing.
Know this: whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone. Allow yourself time to sit in it. There’s validity to all feelings and emotions, no matter how small or insignificant you feel the situation you’re in might be. Remember that everyone has a story and a situation that’s 100% their own, too.
How do you cope with obstacles/difficult seasons of life? What are your go-to ways to fake the funk? I’d love to know!